Kindness and Passion

Ok. I didn't blog yesterday or today. So sorry. We have been super busy and I am exhausted. However, we have some good news. Yesterday Timmie's CRPs were down to 19 and today they were 7! This is spectacular! The CRPs measure the infection in her body. They have been anywhere from 35-45 for most of our stay here. We are hoping this is a good sign for her leg; they may even be able to close her up tomorrow. Progress seems to stimulate hope, and we need as much of that as we can get. We finished day three of the ATG-immunosuppressant therapy, so tomorrow will be her last day of the ATG for this month. She will continue with the cyclosporine and even the steroids for a bit. Timmie had some difficulties today (nausea, chest pain, abdominal pain) but overall it was a good day. Yesterday she felt pretty good, but struggled keeping her spirits up...I'm going with she deserves some time to process her sorrow, fear, and disappointment, but it is still hard for mom and dad to watch. As crazy as it sounds, there are moments during this nightmare that I will treasure for the rest of my life. For the most part they are small things like when she whispers, "Goodnight Mama...I love you" or the way her cool hand feels as it tightly grasps mine when she needs support during something that is uncomfortable or painful. Certain images will be etched in my heart like the way she lit up when the two year old boy from next door came to her window with his mother and blew her a kiss. "What do we have for him, mom?" she asked. Today a young woman named Rachel, who has recently undergone a bone marrow transplant, and her father paid Timmie a visit. Rachel was diagnosed when she was sixteen and missed her junior year of high school. She was able to return for her senior year and will be attending college on a volleyball scholarship. It was so good for Timmie to be able to see someone who has made it through such a difficult trial and see that life really can get back to normal after battling a life-threatening illness. Rachel was vibrant, kind, and compassionate. Also, a few of her friends stopped by today, and as difficult as the past couple of weeks have been, you would never know it by the way she talked and laughed with them. She is constantly receiving uplifting messages and e-mails, and although it would be virtually impossible for her to respond to all of them, believe me when I say that each one helps to lift her spirits. Bo and I received two generous gifts today, both from families who have recently gone through similar experiences...one who is actually still fighting the battle. I am beginning to adjust to the reality of our circumstances, and I am coping better and batter everyday, but what continues to amaze me and catch me off guard (and bring me immediately to tears) is the selflessness and sincerity of so many people -like these two families- who want to help ease our burden. Ok... One last experience because this was going to be a quick late night update. I was waiting down in the lobby for Bo two nights ago because we were going to the store to buy Timmie some Golden Graham's at the grocery store. A family had taken their teenage son for a ride in his wheelchair and I watched them for a bit, thinking how nice it would be to get Timmie out of her bed and room, even briefly. His 11 or 12 year old brother and his parents were with him. They had stopped their walk directly in front of the volunteer who was playing a beautiful song on her violin. I looked into the face of the young patient and could see his love for music. He focused intently on the violinist and seemed to enjoy each note that was played. I have several students who are in band and choir, so I recognized that look...that passion in his eyes. When the violinist completed her impressive performance, the four family members applauded vehemently and smiled with gratitude and appreciation. Then, within moments of their heart warming praise, the teenage boy in the wheelchair began to weep. He cried out with deep, heavy sobs. "I have not heard that song for so long," he wept. "Thank you! Thank you!" Tears began to roll down his parents' faces as they patted him on the back. I thought about how important it is to be passionate about the things that are most important to us. I thought about which things in my life have really mattered up to this point, and at that moment it was perfectly clear.