Families Can Be Together Forever

I'm feeling pretty guilty that I haven't blogged all week, especially during such an important week; however, I have been so overwhelmed and exhausted that it just hasn't happened.  I know that so many of you are praying for Timmie, so I feel awful not keeping you updated on her progress.  So, on Monday she was discharged from the hospital around 5 pm after receiving blood and platelets, and it was a very complicated discharge process.  It appears that Timmie likes to challenge people, so we spent the day trying to orchestrate her medications (which was the most difficult), her physical therapy, her home health nursing, and her medical equipment (wheel chair, walker and such).  The night before discharge was a particularly painful one for Timmie, and she spent the evening trying not to request IV painkillers for fear that it would prevent her from being able to come home.  She is one tough cookie when she wants to be.  We didn't get much sleep, but when she woke up and the doctors told her that one rough night hadn't changed their game plan, she had a smile on her face. Most of her pain is still associated with her serum sickness rather than her healing leg, which is a good sign I think.  At least we know once the serum sickness passes, her leg will be on a rapid road to recovery. The Sunday before check-out was an important one.  Timmie had been missing Sunday dinner with the fam, so the nurses arranged for us to reserve the board room and for Timmie to be allowed to leave her room to have family dinner.  My family came up to Salt Lake, even though there was a good chance she was going to be able to come home the very next day. It meant so much to her to be with all of us. She was happy and laughed at the little ones, just like a normal Sunday dinner. Once again I had an opportunity to reflect on those things that really matter most. Sunday dinner has simply seemed like the routine, and it definitely didn't seem as though it ranked as one of the most important things in Timmie's life.  In fact, over the past year or so, family dinners have changed a bit for her. You know...entering into those teenage years, Timmie spent more and more time texting her friends or taking that long overdue nap on Sunday afternoons than socializing with everyone. Yet during those lonely nights in a hospital room, she would cry and tell me how much she missed Sunday dinners. One of the many important lessons I have learned during all of this is not to take the simple moments for granted. Coincidentally enough, the first night we spent at home in our beds, my grandfather, Deloi Tubbs, better known as Gramps, passed away peacefully in his sleep. Gramps was definitely one to appreciate the simple and tender moments.  He taught us all the value of family and was an immovable example of putting family first. He spent his life working hard and providing for his wife and six daughters. He was a faithful patriach, and although he was humble and had a tendency to underestimate himself and his abilities, he paved, along with my grandmother Lois, a pretty clear path for us all to follow in raising our families with selflessness, dignity, and love. His last years were clouded with confusion due to his Alzheimers, and it must have been scary for him at times, or maybe always, but he still loved and led his family and prayed for us all to remain close and dedicated to those things that are most important. I was fifteen when his wife, Lois, passed away.  Timberly's middle name is Lois, so it goes without saying what an impact she had on me and my life. I loved her smile, her rosy red cheeks, her tendency to overrule my mother and give us cinnamon toast whenever we wanted it, and her love for the scriptures. One of my most vivid memories of her consists of her sitting on her sofa in her tiny living room with her scriptures opened on a TV tray. I remember her quoting scriptures any time she offered advice or words of wisdom to anyone, and most often I remember those words being directed at my Aunt Julie - not that she was the one who needed them the most... she was simply the youngest, and all teenagers need quite a bit of counsel. In my mind, the relationship between my Lois and Deloi was the most pure and loving of any couple to ever walk the earth. I'm still not sure how much of this was based in reality, and how much was idealized and romanticized in my young adolescent mind. At any rate, when Grandma Lois passed, my heart ached for Gramps.  Oh how I thought they should be together. I prayed that their separation wouldn't be for long. (I never told my mother or her sisters this prayer because I knew how much they loved him and wanted him here with them). But nonetheless, deep in my heart, I thought if any two people belonged together, it was my dear grandparents. Nearly twenty-three years later, he was able to see his sweet wife again. I have a very vivid picture of what that reunion must have been like, and my heart swells with joy when I picture them together, hand-in-hand. I know Grandma and Grandpa Tubbs affected so many lives, but I hope they know that they affected mine. Timberly never knew Grandma Lois, but felt her near during two of her darkest moments in the hospital. I guess our inspired grandparents knew what they were doing when, at each of our family events, they had us all gather round and sing "Families Can Be Together Forever." Indeed they can. Even now, when we aren't able to see their faces or touch their hands, they are near.  I'm sure that we are more "together" than most of us can even realize. I am so grateful that we were home for the funeral.  I am grateful that Timmie was able to attend; and although having her around so many people made both her father and me very scared, she would not have had it any other way.  When I suggested that it might be best for her not to attend the funeral, which was just yesterday, she looked at me and said, "But mom... It's Gramps."  That is really all she had to say. We will probably continue to struggle finding a balance between keeping her healthy and safe, and allowing her a bit of normalcy to aide in her mental, emotional and spiritual progress. I will never forget her struggling up two little stairs at the funeral on her crutches to join her cousins in singing at Gramps' funeral. She sat on a chair, removed her mask, and sang with the others "I am a Child of God" and, of course, "Families Can Be Together Forever." I will treasure that memory in my heart. She wanted to go to church so badly today. It meant the world to her when her two dear friends, Skyler and Tanner, showed up at the front door prepared to offer us the sacrament. The sacrament has always been an important ordinance to us, but the promise that we may always have His spirit to be with us carries new and profound significance in our lives when we so desperately rely on on His peace and comfort. The world can offer peace in many ways, but there is no peace that compares to the Peace of Christ. I have felt this so often this past month, and I testify that He lives and loves each of us. I need to thank so many people for the service they have rendered in our behalf. Many of you have helped make the transition home much easier. You know who you are.  Many of you spend so much time keeping Timmie's spirits up. You know who you are. We value the love of our dear friends and family. Timmie is doing well. She has had good days and bad days since we have been home. If the trend continues of her having good days when Ockey is around... we may have a bit of a problem.  I'm going with the fact that this must just be a coincidence. :)